Thursday 11 May 2017

torn

current state: in the midst of the mess of packing
worst nightmare: happened twice today - misplaced passport & SSN [found both]
internship snagged: 2, 1, 0

After buying my flight tickets home, I met someone who was really interested in offering me an internship here in Norman. He also said that he had internationals working with them - it was for a software company that programs energy processes. Whoa. And here I am, not even getting a proper reply from PETRONAS. I CAN'T. I am flying home for this opportunity or possible opportunity. I am furious. Seriously, I have been e-mailing this HR person since March 30th, it is May 11th now, one month and 11 days has past and since then I have been running around like a maniac editing and getting the 'proper' documents for her. And she always has minor edits or what nots. The process is tedious and endless. She is not thorough, or the person who 'processes' the report just seriously hates me. Like who does PETRONAS even employ seriously?

But that could be the way of life back home - oh I surely hope not but that may be a norm. What if I'm so used to this system? The way people think here? Because I don't know if I can actually deal with such a backward mentality. Not trying to say I'm better than anyone else - I just believe that everyone should have a level of professionalism that garners enough respect for everyone.

And the funny thing is this, while I was looking for my SSN a friend told me to ask my parents for it. It really hit home. Because I take care of my own documents now. But do you know what is worse though? Packing and leaving. But it gets worse, coming back here after the summer.

I do not know if anyone can feel so torn. but I do. I feel so torn, I do not know where home is anymore. will I ever find it?

Someday, some way, surely I must.