the thought that she has fallen, fallen, and fallen again and again into a deep abyss;
and despite it all His love for her never wavers.
He still chooses her, picks her up, and holds her,
while He tells her it is all going to be okay.
gently.
because one day, this will all make sense,
she chose to believe that with overwhelming anxiety, His grace still abounds.
she knew that the truth always prevails.
she knew that insecurities were lies.
she knew that she was better than this.
she was made for so much more.
-
it is worth it. to fall, and still come back to where one started.
slowly but surely, she too will get back on her two feet.
-
slowly but surely, she will soar with wings like eagles.
she was made to conquer.
and nothing will stop her.
Wednesday, 4 July 2018
Tuesday, 3 July 2018
Tuesday, 19 June 2018
one
Isaiah 46:9
Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me.
this verse reminds us again and again to remember the past. especially the constant, unchanging nature of an unchanging God. the acme of one's faith is to simply reflect, and remember the faithfulness of a good father. this is the pith, the essence of one's faith, especially during the low, and the humdrums in life. remembrance of the former remediates, rather than exacerbates the constant ungratefulness that is engrained in human nature. doubt and worries linger around us like a constant arch of snideful remarks, reminding us of our worthlessness and incapabilities.
it is then when the former things, the goodness of God, and the miracles that brought one to the present should be glorified.
Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me.
this verse reminds us again and again to remember the past. especially the constant, unchanging nature of an unchanging God. the acme of one's faith is to simply reflect, and remember the faithfulness of a good father. this is the pith, the essence of one's faith, especially during the low, and the humdrums in life. remembrance of the former remediates, rather than exacerbates the constant ungratefulness that is engrained in human nature. doubt and worries linger around us like a constant arch of snideful remarks, reminding us of our worthlessness and incapabilities.
it is then when the former things, the goodness of God, and the miracles that brought one to the present should be glorified.
Friday, 4 May 2018
volatile
oil prices are back up again! yay to the market - not sure if I should be upset or happy since gas is so expensive. it is the end of dead week and I've never been so relaxed my whole life. so happy to end junior year with one of the best semesters ever. bear with me here, I have many things on my mind.
I've had people cook for me, ask me if I've eaten (numerous times), made sure that I wasn't hiding whatever was bothering, but most importantly, finding contentment.
I know it is not a big deal, but today I was walking into a study area and my friend who was laying his head on the table and he could literally hear me coming. Like he recognized my footsteps.
insane. To be known like that. Blows my mind to know that the number of hairs on my head are known too. Because I have a father who loves me so! whenever i feel down or upset about my situations - just the thought of knowing that Jesus got me covered. He sees my future. this in itself reassures me. the feeling of being known like that, is surreal. trust me. find a friend who knows your footsteps, then multiply it by a billion.
feels like someone understands you, your simplicity, your complexities, your hopes, your dreams, your disappointments, your capabilities, and your everything. to know that you are known. that in itself allows you to look forward to tomorrow, and tomorrows to come.
wow.
but what a society we live in that just runs towards momentarily fixes. something that keeps you up for 6 hours. something that numbs the pain. something that lasts for a weekend. temporary. but instant. yet we go back to these temporary fixes - even if it costs our health, money, and is just bad altogether.
why do we settle for temporary fixes? why do we need everything immediately?
we settle for so much less due to our impatience. I cannot deal with a generation that settles for less. people who deserve so much better in life, yet settle for the momentary solution. in the process, they lose themselves, how they value themselves. then their insecurity brings about even more rash decisions that spiral into myriad consequences.
we do not need to lose ourselves, what we value, why we are different for the now. we need to know that the now is not always worthwhile. but how?
how do we slow down. we need to figure this out.
known.
I'm never grateful enough - but today I'm so grateful. the weather is perfect, Norman was safe, the flooding wasn't crazy. above it all, I've never felt so loved my whole life.I've had people cook for me, ask me if I've eaten (numerous times), made sure that I wasn't hiding whatever was bothering, but most importantly, finding contentment.
I know it is not a big deal, but today I was walking into a study area and my friend who was laying his head on the table and he could literally hear me coming. Like he recognized my footsteps.
insane. To be known like that. Blows my mind to know that the number of hairs on my head are known too. Because I have a father who loves me so! whenever i feel down or upset about my situations - just the thought of knowing that Jesus got me covered. He sees my future. this in itself reassures me. the feeling of being known like that, is surreal. trust me. find a friend who knows your footsteps, then multiply it by a billion.
feels like someone understands you, your simplicity, your complexities, your hopes, your dreams, your disappointments, your capabilities, and your everything. to know that you are known. that in itself allows you to look forward to tomorrow, and tomorrows to come.
wow.
instant gratification.
gosh I don't quite know when to start on this! it's been tugging on my heart for a long time now. we are so impatient! statistics says that if someone has to wait for 5 minutes on the internet, 90% of users close the tab or move to a different thing. insane right? what is 5 minutes you say?but what a society we live in that just runs towards momentarily fixes. something that keeps you up for 6 hours. something that numbs the pain. something that lasts for a weekend. temporary. but instant. yet we go back to these temporary fixes - even if it costs our health, money, and is just bad altogether.
why do we settle for temporary fixes? why do we need everything immediately?
we settle for so much less due to our impatience. I cannot deal with a generation that settles for less. people who deserve so much better in life, yet settle for the momentary solution. in the process, they lose themselves, how they value themselves. then their insecurity brings about even more rash decisions that spiral into myriad consequences.
we do not need to lose ourselves, what we value, why we are different for the now. we need to know that the now is not always worthwhile. but how?
how do we slow down. we need to figure this out.
Monday, 30 April 2018
seasons
For the longest time I've been stuck in a season - or unable to differentiate from the seasons I'm in. I've had moments of victory, then I slip back into the fog of mistrust and confusion. Sometimes the cycle lasts longer, sometimes it doesn't. Either way, I find myself here.
I've had nothing to do, school wise, all Saturday. Well, I did, but I just refused to study or even clean. Yet -- just the mere fact of not touching a book made me feel horribly guilty. Which I refuse. I need to know how to rest without guilt. But I did not know how.
I know that I find myself here, but most times I doubt why I am experiencing what I go through. If its patience, perseverance, I just really need the strength. Some of my best friends in college have left, or are leaving in less than a month. Yet I am here, stuck with possibly more years of school (If I get into grad school). When these friends leave, I will eventually find myself gawking around finding the right place to feel comfortable, to be myself. To find community all over again, but an authentic, enriching community. People who make me want to be like Jesus every day.
So you see, seasons are hard. First was losing someone so dear to me. Then, having to say some goodbyes. But I will take heart despite it all. In Isaiah 43, Jesus promises to be with me through all seasons. Maybe I won't have the strength, but even when I walk through the fires, I know that He will be with me.
He promised he would.
I've had nothing to do, school wise, all Saturday. Well, I did, but I just refused to study or even clean. Yet -- just the mere fact of not touching a book made me feel horribly guilty. Which I refuse. I need to know how to rest without guilt. But I did not know how.
I know that I find myself here, but most times I doubt why I am experiencing what I go through. If its patience, perseverance, I just really need the strength. Some of my best friends in college have left, or are leaving in less than a month. Yet I am here, stuck with possibly more years of school (If I get into grad school). When these friends leave, I will eventually find myself gawking around finding the right place to feel comfortable, to be myself. To find community all over again, but an authentic, enriching community. People who make me want to be like Jesus every day.
So you see, seasons are hard. First was losing someone so dear to me. Then, having to say some goodbyes. But I will take heart despite it all. In Isaiah 43, Jesus promises to be with me through all seasons. Maybe I won't have the strength, but even when I walk through the fires, I know that He will be with me.
He promised he would.
Monday, 9 April 2018
zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God is with you;
his power gives you victory.
The Lord will take delight in you,
and in his love he will give you new life.
He will sing and be joyful over you,
his power gives you victory.
The Lord will take delight in you,
and in his love he will give you new life.
He will sing and be joyful over you,
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