Saturday, 3 June 2017

grateful

Excuse the melodramatic post (the last one) but this one will be on an entirely different tangent.

I gathered all my strength to get on the plane - only to discover the shortest route coming home. I only had one transit home. It made me so happy.

My first week was full of uncertainties till I found out that an old classmate was in the exact same refinery plant as my internship! Somehow, over a span of 24 hours, everything fell into place. I went to my house on Sunday and my roommates were so easy to get along with, and they were totally okay with me hitching a ride every day since they took turns too. The house was, of course, nicer than expected too. Other than not getting sleep the first day, it was easy to adjust and get good sleep.

Also, being in an environment where so many interns are, is also so fun! We had gym days, buka-puasa and movie days. Naan days. We're all in different departments but we still have lunch breaks and what nots together. It is almost like camp tbh. Except we have cars and can pretty much do anything. (Of course, the money we earn is literally nothing.) After work too isn't the worst since i'm in a house with the girls. Not to mention the many people I have come to know. But that's not it. I got materials to study! And there is something about applying what you've studied, and actually doing a conversion that matters!!! The best part is that everyone is so like-minded. All the people speak pretty much the same language.

Gotta also admit I came home feeling, even more, admiration for my superman dad. Who does this (mundane 8-5 work days) day in day out for the family. Comes home on the weekends and still helps cook (he would cook extra nice dishes that I like), clean (I stopped being lazy and cleaned too) and do stuff he doesn't need to. He talks to my boyfriend and helps me pick out shirts for him. He gives me relationship advice. Like: taking me to the bank, spending on me, making sure I get everything I need, he made sure I got this internship - is there anything he hasn't done for me? He helps me see how blessed I am. Even after a week of work he'd rather spend his weekend hanging out and doing stuff than just chilling and lazing around. What a standard. What a man. What a way to live - I'm too much of a brat - he sure raised one very opinionated daughter - but yet seeks to understand. It is not even father's day yet, but this man needs to be celebrated. Every. Day.

Dad is the bomb. Always remember.

Thursday, 11 May 2017

torn

current state: in the midst of the mess of packing
worst nightmare: happened twice today - misplaced passport & SSN [found both]
internship snagged: 2, 1, 0

After buying my flight tickets home, I met someone who was really interested in offering me an internship here in Norman. He also said that he had internationals working with them - it was for a software company that programs energy processes. Whoa. And here I am, not even getting a proper reply from PETRONAS. I CAN'T. I am flying home for this opportunity or possible opportunity. I am furious. Seriously, I have been e-mailing this HR person since March 30th, it is May 11th now, one month and 11 days has past and since then I have been running around like a maniac editing and getting the 'proper' documents for her. And she always has minor edits or what nots. The process is tedious and endless. She is not thorough, or the person who 'processes' the report just seriously hates me. Like who does PETRONAS even employ seriously?

But that could be the way of life back home - oh I surely hope not but that may be a norm. What if I'm so used to this system? The way people think here? Because I don't know if I can actually deal with such a backward mentality. Not trying to say I'm better than anyone else - I just believe that everyone should have a level of professionalism that garners enough respect for everyone.

And the funny thing is this, while I was looking for my SSN a friend told me to ask my parents for it. It really hit home. Because I take care of my own documents now. But do you know what is worse though? Packing and leaving. But it gets worse, coming back here after the summer.

I do not know if anyone can feel so torn. but I do. I feel so torn, I do not know where home is anymore. will I ever find it?

Someday, some way, surely I must.

Sunday, 30 April 2017

Spring 2017

And just like that, the semester is wrapping up. Not a single decent blog post. Of course, it is a Sunday and the sermon just resonates with the season I am currently in. Not a very easy one, but oh man, is there a situation in life that you face, and the Bible does not have an answer for?
I remember these verses when I was running. Running with too many injuries and expectations to perform well. Well, what's changed now right? 
He still remains. Faithful. I'm thankful He never leaves me. Thankful for seasons of learning to build character. Because honestly, I am probably the biggest WIP.

Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.  
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  
And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.  
And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.   
Romans 5:2-5 (NLT)

WIP - Work in Progress

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

Psalms 23 (TPT)

God is my Best friend and my Shepherd. 
I always have more than enough.
He offers a resting place for me 
In His luxurious love.
His tracks take me to the quiet brooks of bliss, 
The oasis of peace.
That’s where He restores and revives my life.
He opens before me the pathways to God’s pleasure,
Leading me along in His footsteps of righteousness,
So that I can bring honor to His Name.
Lord, even when Your path takes me through 
The valley of deepest darkness
Fear will never conquer me, for You already have!
You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way.
Your authority is my strength and my peace.
The comfort of Your love takes away my fear. 
I’ll never be lonely for You are near. 
You become my delicious feast 
Even when my enemies dare to fight.
You anoint me with the fragrance of Your Holy Spirit, 
You give me all I can drink of You until my heart overflows.
So why would I fear the future? 
For I’m being pursued only by 
Your goodness and unfailing love!
Then afterwards— when my life is through
I’ll return to Your glorious presence 
To be forever with You!