strangers, stalkers, wanderers who miraculously landed here. sometimes i wonder why i actually keep this blog. but i realised that not many people read, and to be frank, to me its a good thing. its kinda like how Tyler writes his letters to God cause this gives me space to let my thoughts out.
so anyways, the past few days have been keeping me on my toes. everyones emotions have been hanging on a thread. i'm proud to say that among us, i'm the most stable, or at least i keep my emotions in check. maybe thats because i really ignore my problems and things i dont like. somehow, it puts life's problem on hold. and now, i see it as something good. but i guess theres a limit to how strong i can be in masking my emotions. i mean if you're gonna lash out all your sadness with anger... i really dont know how that is going to solve anything.
really sometimes i really dont understand why things like these make me so worked up. i dont know why life takes a dangerously sharp turn too. but the only comfort i have is in God, and the He has made everything happen for a reason. yeaa, i know i'm a Christian. and yes, i have to be grateful, and i have to honor my parents, and yes, i have to always look at the positive things in life, and choose to overcome the bad things, to forgive people first, to put others first, to always respect everyone else.
but sometimes, the expectations of living up to a good Christian girl standards just too much
You can't define a person by what they show you alone. and i have to admit, im not very sincere in the way i act. i can smile all the time but feel so horrible inside. maybe its cause i dont want everyone to know whats going on. or maybe its because i dont trust anyone enough. but you can go ahead and call me two faced, i can't help myself. these days i really dont know who to trust anymore. really, thats why always having God by my side has brought me through the storms. and noo, i dont have a good Christian girl testimony saying "God touched me, now i love Him so much." YES, its true God touched me, but im a Christian because i believe with all my heart that Gods plans are perfect, not by anything else.
and that is also how i get through every storm that comes crashing my way.
yeaa right now it may be a really low point in my life, considering the pressure of studying, doing well and etc. but. i'll get through, i always do cause I have GOD.
and when problems are solved, it feels silly pouring your heart out and ranting to a friend about it. logical enough not to share problems eh? besides, dont be a burden by making them feel sorry for you, i believe you should bless them and be there for them instead, cause once again. life ain't all about you or me. its about our great big God who died for us. and us giving all the glory and honor back to Him who rightfully deserves our every breathe.
____
on the bright side, i had a great time in CF's farewell party today ;
although we may live so differently, hang out with different friends, have different hobbies, our love for God has made those differences be put aside. and these people are really like family. Love them to the bits, and nothing is ever going to change that ♥
| CF FAREWELL 2012 @Vanessa's place. Unedited. |
yes, i have concluded.
life has ups and downs.
i guess it the people who love you around that gets you going each time you fall down.
and God plays the biggest role in that too. its amazing how He never gives up on me each time i fail. instead He gives me the extra strength to face whatever comes next. well, i'm eternally grateful for that and i owe Him everything.
yes, when life takes a steep turn. we always have God by our side. don't you think so?
guess i feel a whole lot better now.
sincerely,
till next time
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