flawed to perfection

Hi,

Let me be the first to say that the last couple of weeks have not been my "most spiritual" season of my life. I am definitely working on it but after what I've been through I feel like there was a reason for the lack of time spent with Jesus (as in reading the Bible etc). Don't get me wrong, I am still constantly talking to him and what not. But I've learned to grasp (maybe just a little bit) this faith thing. Wow, writing this, I am just blown away.

I am appalled at the many times I've tried to earn my "hours" with God. Calculating the hours spent reading or praying. Cause really, Isaiah 64:6 "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away." We will never be good, or even come close to being "holy" enough for God. Sad but true. I would often think of how I was throughout the day and be disappointed in myself.

However, the word holy is synonymous with godly. And really. Me? Nah, I can never even come close to that. Wow. But I am constantly blown away by how God confirms again and again that with FAITH, he has completed us to perfection.

I've always imagined the flawed person I am as cracks in the pavement. Everyone knows that driving on roads like that make the journey bumpy. Jesus is the tar that is constantly making the cracked pavement smooth. Filling in all the cracks, all my flaws, taking my sins, and making everything perfect again. But think about this, if we are already trying to fill the cracks with something not as good as tar, it wears off easily?

I've been constantly reminded over and over that I should stop striving. Stop trying to be in control of filling the cracks with useless materials. Because I am a sinner. I will constantly sin. Regardless of how holy I aim to be. Because whatever Jesus did on the cross, it satisfied the heart of God forever. Yet, in the light of forgiveness - Jesus takes my brokenness aside and He makes it beautiful. No matter how many time I mess up.

Forgive my rants, but I think it is very much relevant to me. I know it may seem repetitive but Joseph Prince phrased it perfectly when he said "The secret behind every godly man and woman is their belief in the truth that they have been forgiven".

Man. I do not know what I just wrote, but I do know that Jesus calls us higher each day, to live to the standard of perfection that He has set. To acknowledge that it is possible, because He has completed us to do so.

Wow. Jesus. You are definitely my favourite.