Spring 2017

And just like that, the semester is wrapping up. Not a single decent blog post. Of course, it is a Sunday and the sermon just resonates with the season I am currently in. Not a very easy one, but oh man, is there a situation in life that you face, and the Bible does not have an answer for?

I remember these verses when I was running. Running with too many injuries and expectations to perform well. Well, what's changed now right? 

He still remains. Faithful. I'm thankful He never leaves me. Thankful for seasons of learning to build character. Because honestly, I am probably the biggest WIP.

2 Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.  

3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  

4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.  

5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.   

Romans 5:2-5 (NLT)

WIP - Work in Progress

master of none

I spent the week watching the Netflix series 'Master of None' during study breaks. As much as I do not agree with most of the values, I can say that so many of Dev's problem's resonated with me. Not being entirely sure about anything, and choosing to live life to the fullest. He touches on themes like appreciating our parents, finding the value in self, when everything goes awry.

 For some unrelatable reasons watching this made me think about the life I am living. Not specifically in this season, but just in general. And I just think, how many of the relationships and the time I invest in. Would it be reciprocal in what I want? And I know life is fleeting like the grass of the fields, but I hope with all my heart that I live with all I can and make the fleeting moment count. Because honestly, worrying about the future is really not the best way to be spending your energy. And with the many things I face it is so easy to always fall into the trap of worrying, but again and again I find myself being silenced by the mere fact that anxiety really is mistrust in God.

 So with that, Matilda from Roald Dahl's book somewhat sums it up, "Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it's unbelievable...”

conversations

This summer has been so very good to me! I've had deep, interesting conversations with so many of my old friends. Just somehow, the timing of everyone being on break worked out so perfectly and I've met people I haven't seen in years, literally.

So blessed also to see my friends and how God can actually be the center of our conversations, and to look back on everything and remember those good days.

It is nice to see how far we have come. Gratefulness runs deep this summer and Jesus is always good. So so good.

in God alone

So I have come to the point of the summer where all the grades are up. I am surprisingly amazed at how I did. For some reasons, even thought I didn't ace all my classes my CGPA went up. But the last sentence - the fact that I didn't ace all my subjects just honestly brought me to tears and made me so very sad for some reasons. I didn't know how to cry. After a long, hot, shower, I scrolled on FB and found this. I am undone.

"Our circumstances can easily rule our emotions if we let them. But God doesn’t want us to be at the mercy of our varied life events, or the hopeless perspective we can sometimes have about them. Rather than getting swept up in the whirlwind of daily events, we should become rooted in the solid foundation of God. Practically speaking, this means leaning on God’s character and seeking after His perspective."

Ah Jesus, here I am again.

“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” 

― A.W. Tozer

I've asked myself this so many times, what do I think about Jesus? What is the first thing that comes to my mind? And if I were to be honest, I would say distant, or just feel clueless about the whole question. This semester honestly felt so lost. This past year I would say. Jesus felt so distant. For some reasons, I just never experienced him the way I usually do. Some days everything falls into place, some days they don't. Yet, here I am, with another crazy year done and Jesus just leading me into a place where He constantly reminds me of his plans for my life. I can say that the last year has been so difficult for me. I've been discovering so much - about myself, how to function away from home, how to function in leadership, or with friends even. I can say that I have never stopped learning this semester, in every sense.

It may always seem difficult, and at times Jesus may seem so far, but honestly, once I stop looking at the waves that comes crashing in - only then will I be able to have peace and trust that His plans are the very best. So, here's to another excellent semester. Painted out the way Jesus wanted it to be.

“The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We're still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work within us. God never hurries. There are no deadlines against which he must work. Only to know this is to quiet our spirits and relax our nerves.” 

― A.W. Tozer

Grace defined

The beauty of grace is that it awakens us to more and invites us to what lasts.
We come to know Jesus by faith, and through Him we embrace the grace- bought opportunity to use our voices, our gifts, our influence, our job, our suffering, our weakness, and our pain to boast in His goodness.
In our less, He becomes more. and in our more, we know that He is greater still. And the power in it all is that no matter what the journey deals us, we know that no circumstance and no power can keep us from the love of God nor keep us from telling the world about Him.
So life, nor matter how brief, takes on the broad strokes of eternity and, when lived for Him, our days really does end up lasting forever.
In the end, there is nothing to risk, just everything to gain.
-A.W Tozer

Grace defined

The beauty of grace is that it awakens us to more and invites us to what lasts.
We come to know Jesus by faith, and through Him we embrace the grace- bought opportunity to use our voices, our gifts, our influence, our job, our suffering, our weakness, and our pain to boast in His goodness.
In our less, He becomes more. and in our more, we know that He is greater still. And the power in it all is that no matter what the journey deals us, we know that no circumstance and no power can keep us from the love of God nor keep us from telling the world about Him.
So life, nor matter how brief, takes on the broad strokes of eternity and, when lived for Him, our days really does end up lasting forever.
In the end, there is nothing to risk, just everything to gain.
-A.W Tozer

make your pitch!

wow hello again. I am here. I have to be honest, 99% of my posts never turn out to be what I planned to write about. Nevertheless, I post them anyway. so here I am again. and I am trying to figure out how to "make my pitch" for last minute internship applications - before you blame me for the procrastination - it is a weekend and it will not be seen till Sunday evening. so sit tight and read thanks.

so here I am. wow, just feeling so amazed and surprised that everything amounted to this. that everything amounted to a single piece of paper with all your qualifications on it (your résumé). how did we end up to be like this? how did humanity mutually agree that this single piece of paper should determine your career path, or to be more dramatic, your life. a career is no doubt a major life decision because it paves your life. having a career that makes one miserable can definitely make his or her life miserable altogether. so, tell me, how did we resort to this? I have always thought that life, today, is absolutely absurd. we study and work hard for a decade to get into a decent university. then, we slave even harder and pay fees that our parents can never afford. in return, we get a single sheet of paper in hopes of finding a dream job. so honestly, why does it have to be this way?

better yet, why do people who study business end up in engineering companies? why do people who are doctors, give the years of studying to paint? why do lawyers end up making music? so where do I fit in then? will I ever use my major? so many questions, yet I have never felt so demeaned, to have to want to make my pitch in hopes that someone will offer me an internship or better yet a job.

humans, maybe we should rethink what our system is made off. how does a single piece of paper control our lives? in the mean time, since this system has been running the world for a long, long time, I will cease with my absurd rants and live with the system - till I find one that works better.


why all these thoughts? I am so sure, I do not want a job that pays me well. I want to make my pitch, but not to multi million corporate companies who couldn't care more for the world's problems. I want to make my pitch, to this world, and the precious lives it holds. I want to make my pitch to the poor and hungry, the unloved and the ones searching for the real meaning in life.

oh well, I think it is time. to stop procrastinating.

till then.

make your pitch!

wow hello again. I am here. I have to be honest, 99% of my posts never turn out to be what I planned to write about. Nevertheless, I post them anyway. so here I am again. and I am trying to figure out how to "make my pitch" for last minute internship applications - before you blame me for the procrastination - it is a weekend and it will not be seen till Sunday evening. so sit tight and read thanks.

so here I am. wow, just feeling so amazed and surprised that everything amounted to this. that everything amounted to a single piece of paper with all your qualifications on it (your résumé). how did we end up to be like this? how did humanity mutually agree that this single piece of paper should determine your career path, or to be more dramatic, your life. a career is no doubt a major life decision because it paves your life. having a career that makes one miserable can definitely make his or her life miserable altogether. so, tell me, how did we resort to this? I have always thought that life, today, is absolutely absurd. we study and work hard for a decade to get into a decent university. then, we slave even harder and pay fees that our parents can never afford. in return, we get a single sheet of paper in hopes of finding a dream job. so honestly, why does it have to be this way?

better yet, why do people who study business end up in engineering companies? why do people who are doctors, give the years of studying to paint? why do lawyers end up making music? so where do I fit in then? will I ever use my major? so many questions, yet I have never felt so demeaned, to have to want to make my pitch in hopes that someone will offer me an internship or better yet a job.

humans, maybe we should rethink what our system is made off. how does a single piece of paper control our lives? in the mean time, since this system has been running the world for a long, long time, I will cease with my absurd rants and live with the system - till I find one that works better.


why all these thoughts? I am so sure, I do not want a job that pays me well. I want to make my pitch, but not to multi million corporate companies who couldn't care more for the world's problems. I want to make my pitch, to this world, and the precious lives it holds. I want to make my pitch to the poor and hungry, the unloved and the ones searching for the real meaning in life.

oh well, I think it is time. to stop procrastinating.

till then.

Help

I don't even know what that term means. But, let me be honest here and say that lately, people have been randomly talking to me....... and all they are asking for is favors. Or if I could do something for them. Once, yes, one person, out of every time someone talks to me, would sincerely actually want to know how I am doing and how life is.

I have reached the point where all I say is "What's up?" or indirectly, what can I do for you.

Then I think of how this may have started. I guess I have been offering help and people remember - which is not a bad thing at all. Or because they know I am nice enough to actually try to help them? Either way, I don't really care how it started. I just hope it changes.

I just cannot help thinking how I got to this point - where people I call friends will just buzz me when they need something.





What happened?

Love

I honestly don't know how far that word goes. How much does one have to prove to another that they love them? How much does it take. What does it mean to love? To be willing to lie, cheat, or kill? To what extent?


I don't know. But I know a love that is real. If this two sided mystery is the unraveling mystery, I know there is the only one I hope to know. And that love is real. So real, He died for me.

Throughout the many seasons in my life, everything seems to liken to a blurry haze, but of one thing I know for sure. This Love never fails.

World Mandate 2016

Wow, I sit here not knowing where to even begin. Firstly, please forgive me for the hiatus. It is apparent that I bought a journal hence blogging was not as essential. Apologies for the very vague troubled posts. Yes, I was in a sticky situation, but I believe I found the ultimate solution. Now that that is said. Phew, I am trying to unpack the past couple of days.. and I am overwhelmed.

So this year did not start off as expected, but like what they said in WM (World Mandate), the year only starts after WM. If the latter remains true, than my year is already off to a good start. So because the year did not start well, I was excited to spend the weekend with people that I love. What better way than to sit in a conference and see their faces for 14 hours per day?

First week of school and the cold, cold wind left me exhausted honestly. If I were to be totally honest, I had zero expectations whatsoever. In fact, the conference was some sort of obligation - but I wanted to be there, just not the entire time. But man, was I wrecked.

Wow, with everything going on in the world today, we often wonder, where is peace? Where is God in all of this? Jim Yost said that if disaster were to befall anywhere, it was a sign that greatness was coming. The superficial disasters were Satan's last effort to stop anything great from exploding into amazing things. Yes, the Syria war is undoubtedly inhumane and no country should have to face that ever. And wow, the refugees trying to make their way out is referred to as the worst inhumane thing. Yet, Jesus always turns evil into good.

Wow this weekend I learned that the church was the ultimate answer. That when disaster befalls, we ought not to simply pray and hope for the best, we ought not run from the war. Instead, we ought to run towards the problem and Engage the Crisis. When the world fears and turn its back around, the church should be the first to say that help is on its way. Engage the Crisis is a movement founded by Antioch. Primarily, they will be helping refugees get onto the shores of Europe. It goes without saying that a journey like that will result in emotional or physical trauma. Antioch purposes to ensure each refugee finds meaning in life. Washed up on the shores, these refugees left behind homes, jobs, everything - in hopes of surviving. Bear in mind that these refugees are just like you and I, big dreams. Other than their geographical location, I don't see how they differ. So yeah, these people get onto these shores and continue the journey into Europe (making several stops to rest and re hydrate). But wow, Engage the Crisis opens doors for students to go in and to serve, to talk, to share the message of hope to these precious lives. These people of different religions are so so so open to anything that is real. And God is so real guys. He heals, he cares and he has compassion. Compassion, meaning the deepest type of love, one that feels the pity for another.

Forget about what I just typed out, I do not know where I am going with that. But during WM, we sang this song that goes:

"You can have my life, You can have it all, Lord, all I am is yours"   

This month, I knew what I meant when I sang that - literally. I've been thrown overboard and Jesus is the only one with the life saver. Literally, my life is dependent on him right now. I just can't help but think - how did I stop depending on Him? How did life go on without Him? Wow. How did I settle so quickly. Honestly.. life should be a race where survival is dependent on Him alone. Wow life. Wow Jesus. I guess when you did this, you already knew what my future holds, so for that, and all that is worth, I am holding on to you. Please, help me know You are there, even when it seems hard.

Here is the scariest part - I was so ready to pack my bags and go to Europe. I see these people in the videos ministering to the refugees, and I wonder, if there is more to life than living the cliche go-to-school-get-a-job-earn-money way of living. Man, I definitely know I am here for a reason and a purpose, yet I am so ready to serve, and to literally change the world! But then I realise, I may not change the world (not yet) but I get to change someone's world here. In a Uni as big as OU, I get to change so many someone's world.

I am still a little overwhelmed, but there with have it. First impression post. Literally hours after WM ended.

Till then.

**

Side Notes:
1. The Antioch tribe is so legit guys. They have a station on Pandora. Of course God is just going at it. I wrote down the lyrics to this particular song (To You Be The Glory) and it is an Antioch Live original song. Of course it has to be the first song that plays when I found the channel.
2. Who would have thought 14 hours spent not studying could be so life-giving.
3. Target has pretty journals, next I would go to Barnes and Noble, then Hallmark
4. Mardel only has journals with verses on them
5. Ephesians 3 - the prayer we all need
6. Organisations to be a part of today (donate, pray, check it out) World Mandate, Engage the Crisis, Be a part of one today!, UnBound

8 days in

..and still no journal. I don't know if I will find something as pretty as my 2015 one. Hm.

So today was the last day of the week - only 5 more days or 7 am mornings left. I can do this! Anyway, pretty much spent the whole afternoon with Matt and Dickens. We were shopping and running errands.

My throat has been really bothering me and I am trying to rest up. But the most exciting part is that I will be writing about MLK Jr's speech I Have a Dream! One of my favourite speeches ever.

standing where the lightning stikes

Way to go irrelevant captions from cheesy songs that get stuck in your head.

Anyway, it is freezing/raining outside. I have no intentions of stepping foot out of the house and I am here bccause the new year has past and I have not bought a Journal or a Calendar. YA WHUT? Journal? Sorry to disappoint, but if you look it up it can be very therapeutic. So life away from home gets easier when keeping a journal. Sad but true.

Anyway, I can't complain about the cold enough. So I will stop. And talk  about 2016 and the changes it brings. Tiff gave us a link about the simple life. Rather good read.

"Be willing to try something new. New priorities, new perspectives, new questions, new choices."

With that being said, I cannot tell you how much I love TED talks. Here was last year's most played in a list. I am not done with the list but this one about addiction is my favourite already. Prior to watching this I have heard about the way Portugal handled their addicts, by creating jobs and empowering them with skills to continue on with life. Also, connections. Countless TED talks emphasizes the need for humans to be connected.

Humans wow. We are an evolving species that will be an unraveling mystery no one can fully fathom. It is insane how 2015 years has gone by and yet we still lack the basic connection we need. Social media has somewhat distort a sense of connection honestly. It has forged an unreal, imaginary world that fosters insecurity, anxiety and dependence on likes and comments. If only everyone knew how much they had to offer to the world - just by loving one person at a time. And no, we are not talking about the favourite friend, or the lovable guy. Like Johann said, even though it was hard for him to understand the addicts in his family, he believed that the love, time, and purpose he brings into their life will be a slow and steady way for them to eventually dream again. To aspire for greatness. Portugal has proven its continuous success for 15 years, and I am wondering, what is the rest of the world waiting for? Let's not waste anymore money by keeping prisoners bored and then coming out only to repeat the cycle again. Yes, you need to watch this. Click click click!

**

Also, check out Landon Austin, because this guy deserves way more views.

Till then,

Christmas Eve

no this is not my end of the year annual post. in fact, I am here because..

I cannot express how strongly I love the smell of laundry. And when clothes come off the dryer - I promise you nothing can be better than that warm fuzzy feeling.

I also cannot emphasize how much I love that turquoise teal blue color.

I also love sitting down - doing nothing, or just watching TV for hours.

**

Best part is - I just did laundry, my speakers are the nice blue colour, I have sat down for hours today. Happiest. Day. Yet. Thank you Jesus for the littlest things.

Till then,

Oh life

Hello, okay bear with me. My thoughts are so scattered, but I'll try.

So the hardest week of the semester is over. I felt like it flew by really. Oh well, just a few things. As I sit here, contemplating on life. Ha. Okay. So the scariest thing is that a rather ridiculous thought hasn't left since two days ago - I don't know where to start, but last Sunday I spoke to my pastor's mom - who was visiting the church that week. I had no idea how we started talking but we did. Anyway she told me she was spending Christmas at her daughters place this year. Then she went on to say that her husband passed away that year. Her next few words, were words I thought I would only read in cliche cheesy posts, because she said,

"I still miss him everyday"

Wow. I want a love like that.

You know how being a Christian, people always say christian things like, "Love God first, then the right one will come along." Yeah, sure. I totally agree with that, when you delight in Him your heart's desires will be granted for sure. But do you also have those days where you're in the place where you feel like talking to someone will be nice? Someone who really wants to hear you out, is interested in your life, and all it's happenings, no matter how big or small. Someone who will put everything aside, just because you are that important in his/her life. To make things worst, my homie, who is very much taken, was planning something for his girl, because he wasn't going to spend Christmas break with her. In the midst of finals prep, he actually was prepping for something that will make her feel thought of, every single day. Like wow, please stop. Because I am at the awkward stage of not knowing who to turn to. Sister? Timezones (but eventually she will hear everything). Brother? Busy. Friends from home? They have their lives, how does one even keep them if they are not around - I don't know. Okay, I have to admit, due to past experiences, I find it so hard to trust people. I never open up anymore, because I don't see the point of it. Also, its been barely a year since I got here. And that leaves me here - complaining. That no one is interested in my life enough to check up and make sure that i'm alright (not just physically, but emotionally too). Or maybe i'm just taking life for granted, and not seeing what I should be seeing.

Either way, I just feel so lonely sometimes.
And, I don't know if it is just me - or my lack of faith.
Please know, I am human too.

Anyway I just got back from Bing's place. I passed him something. Since he was going back to Malaysia, he would be able to pass some stuff to my sister. As much as I am happy for him - I left feeling a stab in my heart. The thought that he would be seeing my sister, was surreal. I cannot believe I am so far away. Honestly, the only reason I really wanted to choose to study in Australia was because they had a 3 year engineering program, and I already had an Australian foundation. But that is what I tell everyone. The only reason I really wanted to be in Australia was because it was an eight hour flight away from home. Do you know what that means? Thanks to Air Asia, it meant I could save up enough every semester to fly home. Surprise the family, or not miss out on Christmas.

I know people have done it and are doing it. But honestly I constantly find myself asking myself, 'What am I doing here?' far away from family, and because my family is amazing and being around them means so much to me. I don't know if it's different; if you are not really close to family, I guess it wouldn't bother anyone that much. But, sadly, that's not me. And life just gets in the way. Really, I just want a home to get back to. Somewhere where I can come back and let the worries of the day melt away. Where I can hear what my lil sis has been up to that day - listening to her endless chatter about her friends. She is becoming such a big girl now, I don't know if I can call her little anymore, but she will always be my baby. Conversations with her are always hard because I just want her to come out of the screen and hug me. Oh dang, the "Meet the Robinsons" soundtrack just came on. Ugh, baby was so sad when the show ended because it was so touching. I love how she reacts to movies. Whenever I call her, she would slip the line, "I wish you were here" so discreetly. I cringe. Deep inside, a part of me will hurt because I wished I was there too. I remember how much I missed my brother when he was gone, and to imagine that my baby is missing my like that - how is that fair? In the name of education. Sighs. I don't even know.

Someone once asked me, "Why Petroleum Engineering?"
I replied, "I will tell you when I find out."

Yeah sure, people are always in awe when you tell them your major. Also, they will assume you will make a lot of money. And yes, all of the above are true. But if you know me, you will know that money is not everything to me. Yes, I have to admit money is some sort of a security, but not exactly my number one priority. As cliche as it sounds, I have this dream to change the world. In any way possible. I just don't want to leave without making my mark here. Sadly, I just don't know what that is yet - so while I am scheming on my plan to change the world. PE it is then.

How pathetic is that? Really? I don't know what to think about it. So if you want to help, come talk to me and help me figure it out.

One last thing, to anyone who actually follows my updates - I love wordpress. Unfortunately, I could not find a way to move my blogposts from WP back here, because yes, I am here for good now. Honestly the reason I chose blogger over wordpress was because all my followers would get an email notification every time I post something. I mean, yeah, I want people to read my blog - but they would have to stumble upon it - or just stalk me well enough. So basically, this is an outlet or a virtual diary - you could say. So well. Here I am.


Well, goodbye scattered thoughts.
Till then.

Hello again and again

I am suppose to be resting and trying to recuperate after this bad flu. But here I am, after watching About Time for the 562938th time (and still crying over the death of the father). Oh well.

I am here to say that social media is so inaccurate. Honestly, lately, people have been telling me things they see on the internet about me eg; the people I hang out with, what I do. But really, nobody knows how much time I don't spend socializing, how much time I spend alone, studying, or just being alone. People always think that i'm constantly hanging out with friends - which is not completely false, but really, social media pains such a horrible picture.

If you are ever in a place where you find yourself feeling jealous over someone's life after seeing what they post on social media - I would highly recommend you to reevaluate what you think. People love painting their lives on social media. I do not see why they shouldn't, because it is, after all the blank canvas of our generation. However, I would practice discernment when assuming about their lives. Remember that you do not know what they do not want you to see. So next time, if you ever find yourself wishing you were in someone else's shoe, remember that they are human too. Chances are, they might be facing the exact problems as you. Just saying.


Before I leave, this is a good reminder.

I love re reading my blog - sorry not sorry.


Till then!

Pastor Bob

“But what does it matter? 

The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. 

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 

for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. 

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.”

Philippians 1:18-20 NIV
**

I had a really intense discussion with my friends earlier today about Pastor Bob. The preacher who preaches in the South Oval. The radical one that tells you after life is either heaver or hell.

You know what? That verse itself tells us to really not worry about these things.

Surprisingly, you may not realise it but this incident may actually spring up conversations about after life - that itself, a topic that everyone avoids and never acknowledges - the fact that they are talking about it makes it worth it.

Pastor Bob may or may not be preaching the right thing (you be the judge) but he definitely tugged on some heartstrings. He most definitely made everyone thought about after life, even for a second. That's all that matters.

two decades

hello, here I am again. One year has past and it has been a journey. Welp. Time for another recap:

November (2014)
So on my birthday last year after the craziest journey of applying for a scholarship - I was finally granted the official contract. I got to celebrate my birthday at home with Mom.

December (2014)
Kor's homecoming. So finally, after 3 years, the brother flew home. We went to Sarawak for a whole two weeks. Spent good time with family. Also, I learnt so much about the family history. Stories that were never told, somehow, uncle and aunty would randomly tell. These stories encompasses the ancestry and its relation with religion, beliefs or rituals (like norms/customs). I am learning so much more about Dad's tribe and slowly understanding why we are the way we are. Other than that, I learnt how to appreciate good drinks. I also learnt that I turn beet red when I drink. Also, don't take shots without dilution. But in all seriousness, getting to spend Christmas (and new year) with the whole family together was priceless. Although we didn't make a big deal out of the celebrations (partly because we were all tired from travelling), it was nice to be together. I also got to sit down with the brother to talk, just the two of us. And man, it was probably one of my favourite months.

January
After New Year, I had four days to pack. On the fifth, I left for the states. Coincidentally, that was the coldest week of the winter. I lost my luggage and only got it one week later. Flights were delayed, bags were lost. Walking around campus was plain miserable. Orientation was tiring and not at all helpful. We were lost. Basically, I was lost. I did not know what I was stepping into. School started. I failed my first Physics & Calc test. Joined Antioch, a church. Found a lifegroup

February
I cried every skype call. Things got miserable. School was so different. It was cold. Cold cold days. But the roommate and coffee makers/tv nights makes life a little better. Went for the Fullness Conference at Antioch. Met Jeremy Riddle, heard Graham Cooke speak. Learnt about living in peace, and simple faith. The Graham Cooke way.

March
Spring break came around. Best one week of my life, spent with the Brother. Went to the Grand Canyon. Decided I like the black guiness stout. Had the best oranges. Had super good mexican food. Felt at home in ASU because the diversity there was amazing.

April
School got harder. But I adjusted to the system. School became a routine I was used to. Joined clubs. Met more people in church and lifegroup.

May
Finals/flying home! Finally got to spend family time. Got to celebrate friend's birthday. Felt so so good to be home and be with mom and dad. The humid air was tough - the adjustment to the food was weird. But it was all so nice. Being home

June
Landed an internship in KL. Commuted everyday and sat as the intern. Learnt that working life is hard because you have to decide what to wear every, single, day! Spent more time with friends. Learnt how dangerous the city can be. Took the train everyday.Took a summer class and got it done.

July
Independence day! Summer school started. met a Rice kid - Albert. Spent all of our days together, cause lab lasted till 3/4-ish. Brought Jose to lifegroup. Summer lifegroup was fun! So much fun being able to spend time with friends.

August
Classes ended. Plans cancelled. Spent time in Norman. Lived with Nosi for abit. School started. Met the E305 boys and basically went over everyday till I was deemed as ' the fifth roommate '.

September
The weather became colder. School was school. Started interning for lifegroup.

October
Turner falls. The Nyanats got married.Exams, School. Church. Life. Really bad days, and Jesus just showing me how much He cares event then. Countless miracles.

November
School. Homesick (cause birthdays) Thanksfeast. Just life with Jesus. So exciting. He makes everything worth it. Life is never mundane, when Jesus is by your side. When you don't have what you need, you realise that Jesus can be your homie anytime, anywhere yo.


Wow, I cannot believe a year passed by that fast. For real. Even though days seem to crawl by at times, one year flew by. I know that ^ was so vague. But honestly, God's faithfulness has been so real to me this year. I don't even know how to count the number of times I've tried to give up. I've felt extremely disheartened, hopeless. I've cried myself to sleep, cried over skype, cried over letters. Yet Jesus always sits by me and to find comfort at that point of disappointment is something worth believing for.

I do not know where to begin. God is so faithful and so real. All you have to do is just tell Him you trust Him with your life. His love goes beyond distance, and I love that. I love how He inspires me to love everyone I know, just because everyone needs a little bit of Jesus in them.

WELP. Good bye teen years!


Till then

Sometimes

It takes me 10 minutes to think of how to do the right thing, to graciously bow out. Because once, someone said, "If you had to choose between being right or being kind, chose to be kind".

Grateful for quotes like that.

Living on One

I watched a video about two guys who wanted to know what it was like to live under a dollar a day & it changed my life, for real.

So, one part that really got me was when one of the villagers (Antonio) and his family (of four kids) cooked a special dish for Chris, Zach, Sean and Ryan. They had so little yet they willingly gave so much. Let me explain how little they live on - the whole family, six individuals (including a baby) live on $1.25 on average. Some days are worse, some days, better. Yet, Antonio personally offered and told them that they can come over anytime, for food, shelter, and he will try his best to provide for them. Wow.

I wonder, how can someone with so little, love that much?

Another thing that struck me was that these families had to constantly choose between feeding their children or sending them to school (for a decent education). No parent should ever have to decide between these choices.

This movie is an eye opener. Everyone should watch it. Guys, I am so ashamed. I don't think I can survive on $1 per day. These people don't have an option. I cannot live one day without the 'basic' necessities, like water, electricity. What is insane is that our 'basic' amenities are considered luxurious to these people. People like you and I, with big dreams, dreams to become a football star. Yet, they live knowing that, at the age of 12 years old, their future is set to be a farmer. They know that school is not at option.

Wow, 12 years old guys. When I was 12 I am not sure if I even knew what an ambition was. Yes, I had dreams of what I wanted to be, but I never had a path preset for me already.

When thinking about world poverty, I've always wondered what the ultimate solution was. This movie answered my question. There is not ultimate solution, however, partial solutions lead to the eventual solution for world hunger. So many factors have to be considered when addressing an issue like this. This will only be possible if every small factor considered, will be addressed and hence solved.

Lately, I've been blessed. Blessed to have watched so many eye opening movies. Here is a short list of what I think is worth watching: Black and white, The True Cost, Living on One.

Ps/ Check these two guys out [http://livingonone.org/]