conversations

This summer has been so very good to me! I've had deep, interesting conversations with so many of my old friends. Just somehow, the timing of everyone being on break worked out so perfectly and I've met people I haven't seen in years, literally.

So blessed also to see my friends and how God can actually be the center of our conversations, and to look back on everything and remember those good days.

It is nice to see how far we have come. Gratefulness runs deep this summer and Jesus is always good. So so good.

home

after my fair share of traveling within the past two decades, I find myself constantly redefining what home means to me. today, I am convinced that I am so very blessed to be able to call two places on this earth my home. my temporary home at least. so thankful that the ultimate HOMECOMING is a party with Jesus and I am excited that the friends I've met along the way will all be reunited one day.

another perk? no air fare necessary! haha!

home

after my fair share of traveling within the past two decades, I find myself constantly redefining what home means to me. today, I am convinced that I am so very blessed to be able to call two places on this earth my home. my temporary home at least. so thankful that the ultimate HOMECOMING is a party with Jesus and I am excited that the friends I've met along the way will all be reunited one day.

another perk? no air fare necessary! haha!

on the shores

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4P_1hdtuW8?list=PLsJxs5s2YyKc_ytYx-LTIDqUL_-lMGkBt]

one of my very faves during our many sessions of worship:

On the shores of my soul

I give You permission

To wash my tears away

And take all my disappointment

and fill me with joy once again

beautiful feet

How lovely on the mountains 

Are the feet of him who brings good news, 

Who announces peace And brings good news of happiness, 

Who announces salvation, And says to Zion, "Your God reigns!"

Isaiah 52:7 (NASB)

So how was your trip?

Truth be told I do not know where to begin. Debriefing has taught me that how important journaling is to process everything. I learned that there are two outcomes, one personal, the other as a whole. Honestly, I have to be grateful for those two weeks. I wish I had more time there but it was definitely enough to have front row VIP seats to what God is doing on the earth. That He is not distant, watching from afar. But he is oh so near to us all - refugees or not. Almost one week has past and I am still trying to put off writing this because I know not how to describe my experience in mere words.

But wow those few weeks wrecked me inside out. I found myself walking on a deeper level with so much faith and confidence in God through community, prayer, worship, blessing on blessing, healing and oh so much kindness. Going into the trip not knowing half of the people in my team - and missing out on all the prep meetings made me feel SO unprepared. So unable to grasp what was about to unfold, hence I had close to zero expectations. But oh boy, whether you have impossibly high expectations or none, man does Jesus come and outshine those (non-existent) expectations away.

Coming into a new team, was something no one is recommended to do, but my amazing team welcomed me with open arms before we even headed to Germany. During our training in Amsterdam, they all prayed over me, and it was oh so sweet. I barely knew them and they were already speaking into my life. That was only the first day! Throughout the beginning of the training, wow, did my expectation level has began to rise. I remember distinctly, during our team meeting when we shared our expectations with everyone that there were a couple of my teammates (including Eric) who were wanting to see healing desperately. Although during this trip I did not witness a healing firsthand, Eric had so many stories of him praying over someone, or him being in a team and praying over someone.

Hearing about Eric's daily testimonies would be something I looked forward to during our team dinner. Faith doesn't get any cooler than this guys. He once told me that an intern (after a rather long conversation) asked a man, "Do you want to see something cool?" Laid hands on the man's head, and the headache was gone.

But of course if I were to share testimonies here I would not be sleeping. Rest assured I will save them for another rainy day. Let me just say this. There are some practical facts that I need to address, things of new insight to me. I will not consider this comprehensive in any way. But these are some of the few I actually remind myself to remember. 

1) Not anyone can enter Europe as a refugee. Proper documents are needed to even get off the boat into the first site (Greece). This is a real thing guys, we have heard stories of refugees being denied entry nine times. Yes friends, you read that right, even I don't have the hope these people have in trying nine times.
2) Refugees who enter Europe, and make it all the way to Germany are usually middle/higher class. I say usually, meaning most times, meaning it is not a general statement. But in all seriousness, documents cost money, the trip from their countries cost money, hiring someone to take them through all that cost money too. Although most of them have spent all their savings on trying to get to Europe, they are probably educated. So not underestimating them will be kind.
3) They have to live with language/culture barriers too. Yes, refugees from all over the world are put into the same site. So there you go, you think they all have it easy? Guards have told us of the countless fights they have within sites, tribal distinctions, religious differences, racism? They face it all too.
4) They are real. They are human. What do I need to do to emphasize this any more? Guys, they really are just like you and me. They have normal problems too, other than running away from their safety, they yearn to earn a living, a better life, to feel like they belong.

One day, when we were done visiting at a site, we were strolling downtown into the heart of the city with a dear friend. However, when we were about to approach the shops the town square, we asked him if he has been there, then he quietly said, 'No, the people here don't love us'. For some reasons I am not able to forget the look on his face when he said it. It breaks my heart to pieces to know that a community, can make someone feel like an out cast without verbalizing anything. They can feel it in the air. How crazy is that? And friends, who have every right to an opinion, I know the situation seems so bleak, with the influx of these people coming into European soil. I am not here to endorse them, or defend them or get into a discussion on whether those handling the situation are making the right calls. That needs to be put aside, for I am afraid that we have forgotten what it is like to be human.

We are in grave danger if we do not know that the only solution is love. A love that came and died for the painful life they have come to know. To see the hope and the smile of people who once dodged bullets, who saw loved ones die, who live with the constant fear that a loved one may be lost forever. Yet they chose to be kind, and to receive us, and our presence with open arms. If anything i've internalized at all during this trip is this - wow that God is real. The many encounters i've had with the women in the sites have been nothing short of miraculous. I have witnessed walls being broken, and just a whole new openness towards the message.

A little back story for the picture above. We were visiting a huge site (huge meaning we know there are many refugees living there) that is closed off an guarded by guards. We could interact with those who came out, and that obviously made things more complicated. Day after day, the interns would pray for the women to come out. They would have almost no interaction with women at times. This particular day, I got assigned to this site and when we turn around the corner we saw a whole group of ladies, kids and some men, but mainly ladies! It was a miracle in itself. Among the group, a teenage girl was the only one fluent in English. After getting to know her, Miki shared about Jesus with her. I got to witness this beautiful conversation unfold and by the end of it, she agreed to meet up again to read what Jesus really is about. Apparently the crowd was there because a local university invited a group of them over for an event. They were all waiting on instructions on how to get there. Shortly after the conversation, she was called by the other ladies to translate for the university personnel. So me, Allison and Miki sat on the curb randomly talking about pendants. I was asking Miki what her oyster pendant meant, and mid conversation this girl's sister (who was also trying hard to converse with us with her English earlier) came and sat beside us. I explained that we were talking about the oyster and the pearl, then I asked if she understood what I was saying. And she was like, 'Yeah! My sister's name means pearl!'...............divine. Just, simply Jesus. What are the odds?

But I want to brag on community before I end. Let me just say that I started out calling them teammates, but ended the trip finding a new family. They prayed over me, spoke life into me, called out my faith and showed me so much love and kindness. I had to take a final midway during the trip and everyone asked how the test went and days later, they asked if I got my grades back. I've made the bestest of friends with the unlikeliest of people. Living life with them for that bit has showed me how loved I am - even away from home. What a constant reminder of a Father who knows that my home is where the people is. And for Him to constantly place people to speak life over me. Wow.

So how was your trip?
I came into this trip expecting nothing, I came home feeling like I've received much, much more than I've given.

on the shores

one of my very faves during our many sessions of worship:

On the shores of my soul

I give You permission

To wash my tears away

And take all my disappointment

and fill me with joy once again

beautiful feet

How lovely on the mountains 

Are the feet of him who brings good news, 

Who announces peace And brings good news of happiness, 

Who announces salvation, And says to Zion, "Your God reigns!"

Isaiah 52:7 (NASB)

So how was your trip?

Truth be told I do not know where to begin. Debriefing has taught me that how important journaling is to process everything. I learned that there are two outcomes, one personal, the other as a whole. Honestly, I have to be grateful for those two weeks. I wish I had more time there but it was definitely enough to have front row VIP seats to what God is doing on the earth. That He is not distant, watching from afar. But he is oh so near to us all - refugees or not. Almost one week has past and I am still trying to put off writing this because I know not how to describe my experience in mere words.

But wow those few weeks wrecked me inside out. I found myself walking on a deeper level with so much faith and confidence in God through community, prayer, worship, blessing on blessing, healing and oh so much kindness. Going into the trip not knowing half of the people in my team - and missing out on all the prep meetings made me feel SO unprepared. So unable to grasp what was about to unfold, hence I had close to zero expectations. But oh boy, whether you have impossibly high expectations or none, man does Jesus come and outshine those (non-existent) expectations away.

Coming into a new team, was something no one is recommended to do, but my amazing team welcomed me with open arms before we even headed to Germany. During our training in Amsterdam, they all prayed over me, and it was oh so sweet. I barely knew them and they were already speaking into my life. That was only the first day! Throughout the beginning of the training, wow, did my expectation level has began to rise. I remember distinctly, during our team meeting when we shared our expectations with everyone that there were a couple of my teammates (including Eric) who were wanting to see healing desperately. Although during this trip I did not witness a healing firsthand, Eric had so many stories of him praying over someone, or him being in a team and praying over someone.

Hearing about Eric's daily testimonies would be something I looked forward to during our team dinner. Faith doesn't get any cooler than this guys. He once told me that an intern (after a rather long conversation) asked a man, "Do you want to see something cool?" Laid hands on the man's head, and the headache was gone.

But of course if I were to share testimonies here I would not be sleeping. Rest assured I will save them for another rainy day. Let me just say this. There are some practical facts that I need to address, things of new insight to me. I will not consider this comprehensive in any way. But these are some of the few I actually remind myself to remember. 

1) Not anyone can enter Europe as a refugee. Proper documents are needed to even get off the boat into the first site (Greece). This is a real thing guys, we have heard stories of refugees being denied entry nine times. Yes friends, you read that right, even I don't have the hope these people have in trying nine times.
2) Refugees who enter Europe, and make it all the way to Germany are usually middle/higher class. I say usually, meaning most times, meaning it is not a general statement. But in all seriousness, documents cost money, the trip from their countries cost money, hiring someone to take them through all that cost money too. Although most of them have spent all their savings on trying to get to Europe, they are probably educated. So not underestimating them will be kind.
3) They have to live with language/culture barriers too. Yes, refugees from all over the world are put into the same site. So there you go, you think they all have it easy? Guards have told us of the countless fights they have within sites, tribal distinctions, religious differences, racism? They face it all too.
4) They are real. They are human. What do I need to do to emphasize this any more? Guys, they really are just like you and me. They have normal problems too, other than running away from their safety, they yearn to earn a living, a better life, to feel like they belong.

One day, when we were done visiting at a site, we were strolling downtown into the heart of the city with a dear friend. However, when we were about to approach the shops the town square, we asked him if he has been there, then he quietly said, 'No, the people here don't love us'. For some reasons I am not able to forget the look on his face when he said it. It breaks my heart to pieces to know that a community, can make someone feel like an out cast without verbalizing anything. They can feel it in the air. How crazy is that? And friends, who have every right to an opinion, I know the situation seems so bleak, with the influx of these people coming into European soil. I am not here to endorse them, or defend them or get into a discussion on whether those handling the situation are making the right calls. That needs to be put aside, for I am afraid that we have forgotten what it is like to be human.

We are in grave danger if we do not know that the only solution is love. A love that came and died for the painful life they have come to know. To see the hope and the smile of people who once dodged bullets, who saw loved ones die, who live with the constant fear that a loved one may be lost forever. Yet they chose to be kind, and to receive us, and our presence with open arms. If anything i've internalized at all during this trip is this - wow that God is real. The many encounters i've had with the women in the sites have been nothing short of miraculous. I have witnessed walls being broken, and just a whole new openness towards the message.

A little back story for the picture above. We were visiting a huge site (huge meaning we know there are many refugees living there) that is closed off an guarded by guards. We could interact with those who came out, and that obviously made things more complicated. Day after day, the interns would pray for the women to come out. They would have almost no interaction with women at times. This particular day, I got assigned to this site and when we turn around the corner we saw a whole group of ladies, kids and some men, but mainly ladies! It was a miracle in itself. Among the group, a teenage girl was the only one fluent in English. After getting to know her, Miki shared about Jesus with her. I got to witness this beautiful conversation unfold and by the end of it, she agreed to meet up again to read what Jesus really is about. Apparently the crowd was there because a local university invited a group of them over for an event. They were all waiting on instructions on how to get there. Shortly after the conversation, she was called by the other ladies to translate for the university personnel. So me, Allison and Miki sat on the curb randomly talking about pendants. I was asking Miki what her oyster pendant meant, and mid conversation this girl's sister (who was also trying hard to converse with us with her English earlier) came and sat beside us. I explained that we were talking about the oyster and the pearl, then I asked if she understood what I was saying. And she was like, 'Yeah! My sister's name means pearl!'...............divine. Just, simply Jesus. What are the odds?

But I want to brag on community before I end. Let me just say that I started out calling them teammates, but ended the trip finding a new family. They prayed over me, spoke life into me, called out my faith and showed me so much love and kindness. I had to take a final midway during the trip and everyone asked how the test went and days later, they asked if I got my grades back. I've made the bestest of friends with the unlikeliest of people. Living life with them for that bit has showed me how loved I am - even away from home. What a constant reminder of a Father who knows that my home is where the people is. And for Him to constantly place people to speak life over me. Wow.

So how was your trip?
I came into this trip expecting nothing, I came home feeling like I've received much, much more than I've given.

love

1st Corinthians is so rich with conversations. conversation to self, or more accurately Paul to the churches, yet the tone of it all remains so casual, especially in the ESV version. glad we have a saviour who came down to make us strong in our weaknesses. to show us what real love is. to know that we have a hope in a perfect love.

in the recent events of terror. not just in France but all over the world. not just on screens when masses are killed. not just all of those. but also the recent event of fleeing for your lives, be it from a war or from an abusive home, the recent event of increasing homelessness, of dying orphans, and of having to worry for your next meal. these are all events of terror too if you ask me. but yet, we know that in the midst of the troubles we see, God's love prevails.

so friends, I urge you to think. what does love mean to you?
does it mean responding kindly instead of sarcastically?
does it mean not trying to prove you are right all the time?
does it mean talking about solutions instead of problems?
does it mean not fueling heated conversations on social media?
does it mean not 'sharing' that sad, emotional video and actually helping an actual real-life person?
does it mean paying ahead for a stranger?
does it mean saying sorry and hugging your siblings after a hurtful argument?
does it mean treating your parents like you treat your best friends?
does it mean admitting you are wrong?
does it mean not passing judgement too quickly?
does it mean not cursing when driving?
does it mean looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you are worthy, and you are beautiful?
does it mean not settling for nothing but the best?
does it mean going out of your way to make sure your sick friend is not left behind in work/school?
does it mean putting aside grudges and disappointments (for real - like erasing it off the books)?
does it mean praying for the co-worker whose one real mission in life is to outdo you?
does it mean being happy for someone, genuinely happy?

whatever it looks like to you. the world needs more of it. let us stop living in vain. we can't afford that anymore. don't you agree?

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.