reminiscence (?)

So, I have not lived two decades of my life.. and yet, I am already looking through stuff I've kept from what seems like a lifetime away. Yes, you can call me a hoarder for keeping useless items (like camp books, bus/KTM/LRT/first monorail tickets, notes, random little notebooks etc) from when I was younger. It amazes me how just seven years ago felt like... just a memory. Met up with high school buds and realised how much time has past and how far we've gone (not very far yet mind you).

Things I've realised:

1. Growing up is a never ending process.

Be it 5, 15 or 50, age is just a number! I have realised that there is always something to learn; to discover; to accept. I hope the future me will be open enough to remember this. Really. We live in a fast-paced generation, aimlessly trying to tick off everything in our little list:

•  Study in a good university. (Earn a degree/masters/phd/phd(s))


•  Get a good job. (Earn a lot of $$$)


• Marry (handsome/pretty/rich/funny/kind/ + all the criteria on a super long list and etc.)


• Have a family


• and the list goes on and on...

Times are changing faster than ever. We have to always be open - not compromise, just open. We do not succumb to everything we hear but we respect the various views of people we meet. Often, we need to learn to listen to an individual regardless of their age. I hope I don't grow too old and proud to listen to young people next time.

2. Memories will be memories

What once happened, happened. Looking back, you realise that the friends you thought will stay with you forever, don't stay with you forever. Sorry. Sad but true fact. It is inevitable to realise that everyone chooses their own paths in life. The faster you realise, the less disappointed you will get. But hey, it is not all that bad! In the process of growing up you meet different people (even if it is just for a season of your life). Also, the happiest part about this is the fact that you realise you have that one Friend that never leaves. The one that is always there for you no matter how many you have ditched Him. Being alone/lost/vulnerable is definitely a blessing in disguise. Only then will you realise that Jesus has been there for you all this while. So now that we know Jesus is always there - lets leave the memories like they once were, put our heads up and look to what's ahead instead. After all, self pity ain't no party.

3. You have no replay button in life

In plain terms: "YOLO". Literally - you realise you only live once. Not the carefree-I-can-do-anything-I-want kind of feeling. On the contrary, it is the feeling that makes you want to make every person you encounter feel blessed. Not how much you deserve to live your life, just because. Instead it is the kind that will treat anybody nicely - because its his one and only life to be kind. The ones that are willing to give in, give way, and just give. Because they only live once. The feeling that everyday you would want to live it right because you cannot relive it. Very much like someone who has grasped the concept of "living like you were dying". The easiest way to evaluate this part of yourself is to ask: 'If I had cancer and I have one day left to live, what would I do?" (This works for me - specially when I feel ungrateful or just disappointed). Only when someone fully realise the weight of these four letters - they have lived.

Just some thoughts, and overwhelming nostalgia, nothing much.

Well, here's to looking forward!

92 / God bless!

The Heart

God definitely made us all so unique. Our hearts are never similar to anyone else - everyone imprinted with individual dreams and hopes in life. How very intriguing. What marvels me even more is how quickly we forget.

Three months ago, I would never imagine myself not missing the kids back in FGA CCC. (Read here) The heartache of leaving these wonderful kids (whom I've regarded as siblings already) was just.. intense. Yet in all irony I did get over it. Shamefully, I forget the time I spent there sometimes. I feel less excited when they contact me.

And to think that me three months ago thought the pain of leaving Cambodia was permanent. That there would be nothing I can say or do to fix myself. To be honest I felt like a wreck when I came home. But look at me now, living as though I've never seen worse.

I wonder what happened to the person who saw kids barely having enough to eat? Let alone clothe themselves decently; even attaining an education. When I was there I promised myself countless times that I would be grateful and cherish my opportunity to further my studies. I promised myself to never be picky of what I am served during meals. To be grateful for the little things we call essential. Water, electricity, technology and even food. They consider it luxury.

We are blessed. Privileged. The world that revolves around us have been filled with innumerable blessings.

And yet, we are unhappy. Why?

#572 ELECTIONS

Change may be in the hearts of all citizens; hence this does not mean by the opposition not being authorities a sign of failure. But instead, the dream and unity of everyone in this season should be something to always be grateful to God for.

No matter what comes next, whether Malaysia becomes more corrupted or the other way; God knows best.

Let's all stop using our human strength and minds; getting angry over what can't be saved. They recount the votes, they are responsible. We can always get down on our knees and pray. Remembering that prayer moves mountains, and faith a size of a mustard seed is enough.

Dear God,

All we need is faith, and hope in our prayers. Grant us favor tonight, so we may have a better tomorrow. But nevertheless thank You for all the countless blessings You've poured on beloved Malaysia.

Amen.

#572 ELECTIONS

Change may be in the hearts of all citizens; hence this does not mean by the opposition not being authorities a sign of failure. But instead, the dream and unity of everyone in this season should be something to always be grateful to God for.

No matter what comes next, whether Malaysia becomes more corrupted or the other way; God knows best.

Let's all stop using our human strength and minds; getting angry over what can't be saved. They recount the votes, they are responsible. We can always get down on our knees and pray. Remembering that prayer moves mountains, and faith a size of a mustard seed is enough.

Dear God,

All we need is faith, and hope in our prayers. Grant us favor tonight, so we may have a better tomorrow. But nevertheless thank You for all the countless blessings You've poured on beloved Malaysia.

Amen.