New seasons

It is about time I admit that it is a time of new seasons for me. Oh where do I start? It is going to be my second month here.

To be honest, it is after 2 months would be the longest I have been away from home. When I studied in Kuching (Borneo Islands) I flew home every other weekend lol - even for 3 days. I would skip classes sometimes heh. Realising I can't do that here is a little bit new for me.

Nevertheless, my time here has been nothing less than amazing. I have definitely had some ups and downs for sure, but this week has been overwhelming for me. I would like to remind my future self reading this to never look back again. This week has been a breakthrough for me. This is true in so many different ways.

I've had countless nights tossing and turning in bed and waking up before my alarm rings. Throughout the week I went through so many things that I had to constantly choose peace. Yes, you should agree that it is not easy. Often, the easier way would be to just admit defeat and start worrying. Anxiety. Believing in anxiety and worrying is a paradox to believing in God. This is a lesson I've heard countless times (especially during the Fullness conference) I know but never learnt to take heart (at least till now). I was so exhausted - the cold, the snow, cancellation of tests, every other reason. By Friday I was beat. Tired out, and suddenly I decided to listen to Graham Cooke's message from Fullness. Hearing it the third time finally struck me in the heart. I've had this gradual feeling of freedom, pure peace and just slowly feeling free again.

Yes, situations may not go my way all the time but Jesus is for me.

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Also, this week so many people have ministered to me and I want to remind myself to be thankful for them. My parents have always been on Skype telling me to trust God in everything, and in life group this week we had a prophecy practice thing. It was so impromptu! Regardless, Jesus is always good and we prophesied over each other. The guys in my small group spoke three things over me: fruits I may not see, a calming sunrise and the word patience. (Yeah like, what?) But I have faith! To see all this things come to pass. Anyways back to the Friday. I purposed in my heart that I was so tired of living a tired life, I want to hold my ground and claim my rest back. To add on the whole process, today, Past Chris spoke about the "Change of Heart" in church. What are we living for? Because everything that we do springs out from the heart. Are we guarding it?

Nosi spoke a word over me today - it struck me so hard. I am not ready to share it yet. But I am so blessed. To catch a glimpse of what's in store for me.

Psalms 91 - a whole chapter worth meditating over and over again.

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AH LIFE, SO MUCH TO LOOK FORWARD TO. Two more hours into a brand new week. What do you say Jesus? Ready? Well, if You are I am.

Have a great week ahead everyone! Remember to always be grateful for each day you live, live it to the best you possibly can. An ex classmate's sister passed away earlier today. It's always devastating to hear of new like this but Jesus wanted her home early. We can only live each day like it's our last. Only then we've really lived. :)

Oh. My old love for Switchfoot is back. I found this song ever so relevant.[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7JJWqr7Oes?list=PLC90792750749EF39&w=560&h=315]

the unplanned gap year

Hi there you curious ones.

"Where are you studying?", "Are you still on break?", "What are you planning to major in?", "I thought you are going Australia?", "Aren't you suppose to leave already?" and etc/

Thank for flooding me with questions every time we meet up. For the convenience of me not repeating my story countless times. I am going to explain myself here. Worry not friends, I shall answer all the above and hopefully clear your doubts. (Not like you really care hehe) Unplanned gap year: I think my blog title really answered a few questions but I shall tell you everything. How I got to where I am today. If you uhm really still want to read more then go ahead.

PRAY

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_J4I4gsvYA]

I bow my head to pray, I don't know what to say

I'm not sure how to fix the things I'm dealing with

I'm in a desperate place, I need to share the weight

But I just don't know how, to let it all pour out

Though I'm silent, my heart is crying

Cause I was made to come to You

So I pray

God I need You more than words can say

Right here in this moment

You know my heart, You know my need

You know every part of me

So even if it's just to speak Your name

I'm gonna pray

I failed to find the time, but You've been calling out

I let the days go by as if I could live without

But it's gotta be here now, I won't be pulled away

Cause it's just You and I, so let the world around us fade

As I pray

God I need You more than words can say

Right here in this moment

You know my heart, You know my need

You know every part of me

So even if it's just to speak Your name

I'm gonna pray

I'm gonna pray

(Father)

Will You meet me here right now?

(Father)

I surrender, lay it down

(Father)

And every time I close my eyes

I know that I was made

To lift my hands and pray

I lift my hands and pray

You know my heart, You know my need

And every single part of me

So even if it's just to speak Your name

I'm gonna pray

I'm gonna pray

You know my heart, You know my need

You know every part of me

More than words, You are my life

Take it as an offering

PRAY

I bow my head to pray, I don't know what to say

I'm not sure how to fix the things I'm dealing with

I'm in a desperate place, I need to share the weight

But I just don't know how, to let it all pour out

Though I'm silent, my heart is crying

Cause I was made to come to You

So I pray

God I need You more than words can say

Right here in this moment

You know my heart, You know my need

You know every part of me

So even if it's just to speak Your name

I'm gonna pray

I failed to find the time, but You've been calling out

I let the days go by as if I could live without

But it's gotta be here now, I won't be pulled away

Cause it's just You and I, so let the world around us fade

As I pray

God I need You more than words can say

Right here in this moment

You know my heart, You know my need

You know every part of me

So even if it's just to speak Your name

I'm gonna pray

I'm gonna pray

(Father)

Will You meet me here right now?

(Father)

I surrender, lay it down

(Father)

And every time I close my eyes

I know that I was made

To lift my hands and pray

I lift my hands and pray

You know my heart, You know my need

And every single part of me

So even if it's just to speak Your name

I'm gonna pray

I'm gonna pray

You know my heart, You know my need

You know every part of me

More than words, You are my life

Take it as an offering

Delusional..?

I believe the only reason I love fake, ridiculously cheesy movies - sadly, its because I cannot bear to face reality.


Why can't I study, and ace my exams?
Why can't friends always be there forever and ever?
Why can't the world be just one city?
Why can't goodbyes be any easier?


Why does it have to be harsh - I'll wake up soon, from this daydream. I hope. No, I am not delusional. It is concluded, I should be..

GRATEFUL,
I have God by my side to help me solve life's greatest dilemma. To never leave me not forsake me.

Delusional..?

I believe the only reason I love fake, ridiculously cheesy movies - sadly, its because I cannot bear to face reality.


Why can't I study, and ace my exams?
Why can't friends always be there forever and ever?
Why can't the world be just one city?
Why can't goodbyes be any easier?


Why does it have to be harsh - I'll wake up soon, from this daydream. I hope. No, I am not delusional. It is concluded, I should be..

GRATEFUL,
I have God by my side to help me solve life's greatest dilemma. To never leave me not forsake me.

#525 250712

BE MORE THANKFUL?

They say, the secret in being happy in life is to be thankful. They also say forgiving other first also makes you happy. They say forgetting grudges benefits no one but you. And I'm not doing either: REASON WHY IM SO MISERABLE. JK. Brain jam, but back to work now. Always dehydrating idk why but another ulcer manage to form, now I have two ;( SIGHS. BE HAPPY, BE HAPPY.

____

Isaiah 43:2 

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.

#525 250712

BE MORE THANKFUL?

They say, the secret in being happy in life is to be thankful. They also say forgiving other first also makes you happy. They say forgetting grudges benefits no one but you. And I'm not doing either: REASON WHY IM SO MISERABLE. JK. Brain jam, but back to work now. Always dehydrating idk why but another ulcer manage to form, now I have two ;( SIGHS. BE HAPPY, BE HAPPY.

____

Isaiah 43:2 

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.