Hello, I've been stuck in a denial phase the past few days. Feeling so dazed. Taking a step back, let me explain myself. When I decided to take a semester off I knew exactly how it will turn out. I would either:
1. Get the scholarship
2. Not get the scholarship
These were solely, the only possible outcomes. And yet, when it happens you still feel so confused. The series of events these past few days have left me.... disheartened. First of all, the British scholarship probably didn't like my essay, and right now; the career day (last interview) for Shell is scheduled to be held only in August. Wow. Way to close some doors in your face. Well, point taken. But then again closed doors leads to other doors. This much I know is true.
Someone told me, if God has destined for you to do something (eg. be a teacher) and you choose to be a Dr. instead, you are not living out God's plan for your life. No matter how much success you may attain as a Dr., to God; you may not be considered successful. Sad, and ugly truth. But somewhat reassuring, the fact that hopefully I am walking into a path that He considers successful.
So, I have concluded. Sometimes life takes a very sharp, painful turn. Sometimes all you hoped and dream for ain't the best. Only God knows best - true story. Mom asked me to check out universities in the states/UK, but the test dates and entry dates don't coincide. Sadly. I am honestly feeling too disappointed to comb through the internet and look for universities/entry requirements/email. So.
Whats next? Another walk of faith then - trust required.
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
― Deuteronomy 31:8
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
― Joshua 1:9
For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The LORD loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love. By the word of the LORD were the heavens made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
― Psalm 33:4-6
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