Because life is like those photo frames. Only when placed together - a whole picture is formed. Notice the differences of each frame. Each experience, stage in life, so different yet similar in another way.
Apologies for the long hiatus, well, I haven't really wrote properly in a long long time. Sometimes I really wish to write long long rants to pour out how I feel but I feel so tired - emotionally. In all modesty, I realise how much of a human I am. I think I lost a friend, whom has always been there through everything. Since running and then on. The thing is no matter how far we drift apart talking again feels only natural. Guess it is my turn to feel it now. On top of it all -
How do I phrase this; well I've been unintentionally stirring up unnecessary conflicts. Well, lately Mom and I don't really reason things out fairly. Mostly my fault? I cannot say much. Most times, I feel like I let my parents down. I look at myself and I feel tempted to even deceive myself into believing I am a failure. But I know with Jesus I will never be one. And I feel reassured again.
This walk of faith; of doing nothing. Oh the irony, but to be honest without God I would never be so grateful today. The one thing I've realised to be ever so true:
Grace is not based on my performance.
Grace is not based on my performance.
Grace is not based on my performance.
(repeat)
I have to admit, I am a pretty negative person. I know some might not agree to that but hear me out. Some nights, I tend to replay the day (especially the bad parts), and worry about the future a lot. I don't know why I cannot help it, I just beat myself up. When Jesus takes care of the birds of the air, and clothes the lilies, here I am alive and well yet worrying for tomorrow. Ignorant me.
Nevertheless, I am so grateful for people who always remind me that when things go down, I should look up. Two men have played an important role in my life for reminding me when I need it. The older brother gave me a call after my scholarship news (it was postponed) came out. He knows me way too well. I ended up crying - but of course not showing it because sissies cry. He really told me to snap out of it. Dad too, he tells me to always find the good in everything. Frankly, sometimes when the storms overwhelm, I cannot help but to fear it instead of trusting Him to calm the storm for me.
Devotions today pierced my heart. Proverbs 12:25 teaches us to speak words of encouragement. Speak life into your hopes and dreams. Speak life to yourself. I have been thinking about it a lot. I really need to ponder on scriptures like this constantly.
So much for a long post, heh. I should safely conclude by this: Hopes, disappointments, regrets. Paid for two thousand years ago, when my Jesus died for me.
Are you willing to take up the cross and lay down your burdens?
Am I?
"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down,
but a good word makes him glad."
― Proverbs 12:25 ESV
“When someone is broken, they don’t necessarily want someone to fix them. They just want to find someone who will make sure they don’t break anymore.”
— Zaeema, “broken people”
0 comments:
Post a Comment