Days like these,

I hate reading my sister's tweet and actually listening to her speak it like she was next to me.
Watching the world go by from here feels like i've been sidelined. Not a very nice feeling I tell you. Everyone back home are hanging out, finding a new girlfriend/boyf, running for president, and basically just living life... without me. I have never missed home this much either. Every night is a trip back home- I feel like they are actually really there and every morning it's the same thing. I wake up, in a hostel. In a place I can never call home. I don't  like feeling this way and I know I cannot live this miserably. But however, I can never stop myself from daydreaming about home. Especially when I know I am heading home in a month's time. Sadly, I also realized that everything will be different back home (I realized this a long time ago). Everyone will be caught up in life. This I am always grateful for family. I can never describe how much I miss every single one of them.

Leaving was sort of a mixed-feelings-kinda decision. Well you see, ever since Kor left nothing was the same. After months of crying and getting over the fact. Everyone lived in routine. But we know nothing will be the same. Leftovers everyday, food untouched, always taking out... it was not a very pleasant change. But things got better I guess. It was just very different for me.. I could feel the emptiness and sadness. This adds to me losing a best dude buddy. #SIGHS. Leaving therefore was sort of like my way out, or a change. I really hope they are all doing fine back home.

I miss my life back home & I wonder if I would be enjoying myself if I lived that life.


But, thanks to God who has never left me. I believe I have been sent here for a reason. God knows why- LITERALLY. I will never regret meeting the people, places I've been too, things I've seen here. Its just that this semester, being separated from everyone, new faces, nothing normal you see. Kind of my low point right now.