Honestly, the Fullness conference tugs on my heart's deepest part. Every fault and disbelief I have was challenged. I will try to explain what I mean. But honestly, I am a very negative person (well that was the old me!) and to hear things like this - the simple truths of our great Father made me so skeptical. I was like, "Huh, really, it's that simple? No, that can't be it".
One thing spoke to me so powerfully - this simple statement:
"Rest is our greatest weapon"
As easy as it is to say these five words, to know and take heart, thats a different level. Graham Cooke's sermon on rest really challenged me. I started questioning myself. Really - why am I worrying so much when I have a God that has everything taken care of? Is anything too hard for the Lord? Often, I am guilty of belittling God. Limiting His power and love in my life. Honestly, we receive the love we think we receive and I've been guilty of thinking that God will never love me as much because of (endless list of flaws). Telling Him, "Hey, my day is going to be pretty busy today, and I'm going to pray and do my devotions - but I'm going to strive to make sure I get through the day. And uhm, if you want to help you can, but it's going to be a busy day, okay God? So bye", "See you when I'm exhausted and weary from my busy day". And then at the end of the day I find myself asking, "Where was God during my bad/busy days"? Naive. So blinded by the fact that i've left Him aside, forgotten that He was right there, next to me.
And yet, God is so ever ready to open His arms wide again - to assure me that He is glad i've come to realise that his love is unconditional. His grace is all deserving and His power knows no bounds. And yes, we may limit Him when the waves of life come crashing Him, but that doesn't mean He is actually limited in anything, we just think He is. And oh, what a wonderful God we serve. That allows us to come just as we are, with our flaws and impure love and filthy hearts.
I will never begin to understand that, but I believe it is real. And I want to live like that - knowing I am loved and God's grace will never let me go. I went to lifegroup on Thursday (after yet another hectic week) and Chris, my LG leader shared about how he had a pretty intense week but He chose Jesus. He chose not to worry. In the end he didn't look tired out or anything, God's grace sustained him. Wow, to hear and witness testimonies from people my age - that's something. LG has been opening my eyes to see how God works in the lives of people my age. I've heard testimonies after testimonies. Jesus has worked in radical ways. Despite the similar struggles we all face as students, God remains the same, yet so personal to each and everyone of us. I want a significant relationship with God. One thats not built based on obligations but one that recognizes that by delighting in God alone, we claim our territory and let God into our everyday lives. Better yet, we kick the enemy's stronghold, throw away worries and anxieties. Before we know it, we have our greatest weapon: REST!
And a little bit about the actual conference. The Friday of the conference Kenah texted me. He told me that he had extra overflow tickets - a ticket cost $69 (overflow) $90 (normal). And I thought about it for the longest time, then I finally decided, hey, he offered, guess I'll just go. And so, I am so grateful to Kenah really, for not forcing us, but actually giving us the option to go. Thankful to these two really. They treat me like their own little sister. Love them to the bits (picture 8) I got to hang out at Hannah's place for the night with a bunch of girls from LG. One of them, Rachel (picture 7) is an art/portrait major. Its so cool how she painted during worship, the picture shows some of the paintings she worked on throughout fullness. (picture 5&6) This super cool burger/bar place Kenah took us. He paid for our burgers, it was so good! The place was pretty neat too. We spent the break talking and getting to know Laura. (picture 1) is on Saturday - when Kenah cooked for us dinner and we all hung out at his place.
So, the picture with the Bethel guys? Well. I totally had a crush on the keyboardist, haha he was so good looking! And on the last day I told myself I need a picture with him, or anyone in the band for Tiff (< super big fan of Bethel). But I had not guts. Ya. I went up to the beard guy , told him my sister is singing Bethel songs in Malaysia. And there, awkward picture for you! I was kinda bummed since they were leaving for tour immediately after this service. We chilled and waited for everyone to gather to go home. And I was heading towards the toilet area when Jeremy Riddle and Mr Cute Keyboardist walked towards me!!! I was thrilled. Totally jumped at the chance and asked for a picture. Conveniently, Pabel was there and the Cutie thought I wanted a picture with Jeremy only, I had to convince him to be in it lol. But it was all worth it! We drove home and they were next to us. It wa so funny but :) :) what a wonderful few days. really.
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(8)Thank you Jesus, for never failing to amaze each day.
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