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I just recovered from the most excruciating experience ever. Not being a drama queen or whatever but the past five days have been so hard.

I got stung on my eyelid - the next two days it started swelling. So I went to see the Dr. He gave me antibiotics - usually I don't take antibiotics. Lul, there's a whole bunch of my antibiotics in the drawer cause I never eat them. This time mom said not to risk it and just take the medicine.

I was literally helpless - my eyelids hurt so bad and I was tearing the whole time. I couldn't do anything. Whats even worse was the first day my eye started to swell I had food poisoning too.

AND THEN, after I finished my round of antibiotics - my body reacted. I knew, mom knew it would happen. I was burning - literally. Whole body felt so hot, this time it was like nothing I've ever felt. Spent the most excruciating hours from 2/3/4 trying to sleep and stay cool and breath. Breathing was so painful. To be honest I thought I was going to die at one point. Lul sorry, drama again.

Mom prayed for me and the next morning (today) I woke up without feeling the burning pain. Truly a miracle. I know for sure that Jesus heals.

Of course my days spent lying and resting had left me contemplating on life. Like really really thinking about everything. Just so grateful that this episode is over. So so thankful. And there, my thanksgiving this year; i'm happy to be alive and well again. :)
Thank you Jesus, for dying and taking our pain years ago.

Ordinary

So what have I been up to lately? I must say having a journal really kills the joy of blogging. Public posts are not suitable for fully expressive thoughts, but still. Btw, I must confess again I don't re-read my old journals.

Anyhow! A little updates on my application. Earlier, I wrote about how my plans have changed and that I am officially taking the whole year off from educational pursuit. (Lol, I know you're secretly judging me for wasting my life, so read the post okay, I have my reasons). As of today, I've applied to four universities in the States. Two of them are top 75 in the world for general engineering, but all four are top in the States for Petroleum Engineering. So more choices for me! I've made up my mind on where I want to go. Just waiting for my offers now.

Oh yes. The wait. Is. So. Torturing. Really, I need my I-20 papers asap to apply for my visa interview. As much as I loathe waiting, time seems to be flying by. How ironic, but let me remind you, there are only 45 days till the brother comes home, 53 days to Christmas, 64 days till I leave!

So much left to do. So much to pack. So many people to meet.

I'll update once I get my offers :) But before it all that starts, I would like to talk to you about a book. My favourite one.

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I admit I'm not the holiest person, however I love reading Psalms. Its a book in the Bible. Sometimes I become too selfish and just read Psalms all the time haha, but really. When I feel down or upset. There are verses to lift my spirits. Often, I stumble upon verses that means so much to me. Undeniably, every Christian loves the Psalms, and I am not excused.

One of the verses on my app is:

 The Lord is close to all who call on Him,
    yes, to all who call on Him in truth.
 He grants the desires of those who fear Him;
    he hears their cries for help and rescues them.

Psalms 145:18-19 (NLT)

Over the past few years, I've came to know God in a very personal way. Today, I still hold fast to my beliefs because He never fails me. Really. I have no idea how many times I've drifted away from God. And yet every single time, He looks out for me and continually shows me how much He loves me. So overwhelming. I can't deny His love anymore. I've decided to believe in Him because He never leaves me through it all. Whenever you call, He's always there. He'll bring us out of any sticky situation. This ordinary life we have been given. So dull. Yet He cares. For every single detail.

I am still unsure where I will be next year. Plans are plans. But of this one thing I'm sure: My God never fails.

It is November already! Eleven months have passed, now go ask yourself how did you spend the last 10 months.

Till then! :) #np

Peace

Not the ones you dream off. The kind you need a getaway to actually feel. This peace can come any time, wherever you may be. Not inner peace from deep breaths.

But peace that surpasses all understanding.

These things I have spoken to you,
that in Me you may have peace.
In the world you will have tribulation;
but be of good cheer, I have over come the world.

John 16:33

Isaiah 55:8

⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.

The Blessings of Wisdom

Proverbs 3 (ERV)

1 My son, don’t forget my teaching. Remember what I tell you to do. 2 What I teach will give you a good, long life, and all will go well for you.

3 Don’t ever let love and loyalty leave you. Tie them around your neck, and write them on your heart. 4 Then God will be pleased and think well of you and so will everyone else.

5 Trust the Lord completely, and don’t depend on your own knowledge. 6 With every step you take, think about what he wants, and he will help you go the right way. 7 Don’t trust in your own wisdom, but fear and respect the Lord and stay away from evil. 8 If you do this, it will be like a refreshing drink and medicine for your body.

9 Honor the Lord with your wealth and the first part of your harvest. 10 Then your barns will be full of grain, and your barrels will be overflowing with wine.

11 My son, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be angry when he corrects you. 12 The Lord corrects the one he loves, just as a father corrects a child he cares about.

13 Those who find wisdom are fortunate; they will be blessed when they gain understanding. 14 Profit that comes from wisdom is better than silver and even the finest gold. 15 Wisdom is worth more than fine jewels. Nothing you desire has more value.

16 With her right hand, Wisdom offers long life—with the other hand, riches and honor. 17 Wisdom will lead you to a life of joy and peace. 18 Wisdom is like a life-giving tree to those who hold on to her; she is a blessing to those who keep her close.

19 With wisdom and understanding, the Lord created the earth and sky. 20 With his knowledge, he made the oceans and the clouds that produce rain.

21 My son, don’t ever let wisdom out of your sight. Hold on to wisdom and careful planning. 22 They will bring you a long life filled with honor. 23 As you go through life, you will always be safe and never fall. 24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid. When you rest, your sleep will be peaceful. 25 You have no reason to fear a sudden disaster or the destruction that comes to the wicked. 26 You can trust the Lord to protect you. He will not let you fall into harm.

27 Do everything you possibly can for those who need help. 28 If your neighbor needs something you have, don’t say, “Come back tomorrow.” Give it to him immediately.

29 Don’t make plans to harm your neighbor, who lives near you and trusts you.[a]

30 Don’t take people to court without good reason, especially when they have done nothing to harm you.

31 Don’t envy those who are violent. Never choose to be like them. 32 Such crooked people are disgusting to the Lord. But he is a friend to those who are good and honest.

33 The Lord curses a wicked family, but he blesses the homes of those who live right.

34 He will humiliate those who make fun of others, but he is kind to those who are humble.

35 The way the wise live will bring them honor, but the way fools live will bring them shame.